Shame

I cry myself to sleep, shame for what I have done eats at me constantly. I remember the blood on my hands, and his face twisted in agony. I see him in my dreams, and every time I close my eyes. He was innocent, but I made him guilty, his death was my fault. I know it was his plan to die all along, but it still seems I put him up to it. The perfect one, is what they called him, and he was, and by my ignorance he was killed. He was telling the truth, when he said who he was, but I didn't believe him. And even after the deed was done, it didn't stop him. He defied the rules of life and rose. He washed all the sin from my past and present and forgave me. But every thought I think that's not of him, crucifies him again. His undying love picks me back up, pats me on the back and says it's okay, just try again, I will never stop loving you no matter what you do.